Help me out... somehow.

I entered the Toyota Music contest. Don't expect anything to come of it like I said, but here's the link. Voting will be allowed soon. Just click play to listen.

You can lead a dog to water...

Any one feel like dancing?

Since every one I know is entering a song in the Toyota Music contest I thought I might as well too. Not that I expect the song to get even the most modest amount of attention, but who cares? I wouldn't want a recording contract if they offered me one. Trust me when I say that. I know my personality well enough to understand I should never live that life.

As far as the song goes it's pretty left field. Not in the usual sense, but left field as in if you know me you probably wouldn't expect me to make a song like this let alone send it in to a contest. I've always secretly desired to make a dance album, and I've been working on it in my spare time. This is my favorite track so far, the most chilled, and not silly sounding like most of the other stuff I created. Hope you enjoy.

So you know, in case you wanted to vote for my song, if it does get accepted it won't be posted for a few days so I created this video to share with you; my friends both near and far.



Plus you can always check out my You Tube channel here.

Let The Heart Beat Still. Alone. Awake.

Subscribe here.

Beyond The Red Line

It's coming down to the wire on the finances, but I have faith that things will work out. In case you're wondering I didn't post anything last week because I was busy. Not busy in the way I'm usually busy (read lazy), but busy as in nerve destroying busy.

It was a red letter week. Not only did I run my first Bible study Tuesday, but I gave my first sermon that Sunday. The subject of the study was the idea of sin, and how it has far reaches consequences that can effect others in ways we could never imagine. I used the story of Lot as a reference. If you're not familiar then read Genesis 19 (or perhaps a little further back if you want the back story). Essentially Lot moved into the city of Sodom which was known for its wickedness and excess.

The city is marked for destruction, and the angels tell Lot to flee to the mountains. Now I won't go into the entire story. I think pretty much every one is familiar with the pillar of salt bit, but I only set that up as a means to understand the last bit. In Genesis 19: 30-38 Lot's daughters get him drunk and both lay with him and become pregnant. The first daughter gives birth to Moab, and the second gives birth to Ben-Ammi. The former being the father of the tribe of Moab, and the latter being the father of the Ammonites.

I set the story up to specifically point out that single event. Later in Numbers, during the time of Moses and the exodus of the Israelites, the women of Moab would lure the men of Israel into ritual sexual practices and idolatry leading to the slaughter of 24,000 people. The Ammonites would make war with Israel for centuries. So the acts decisions of a single man culminated to a single act that would have consequences spanning centuries, and God only knows how many lives lost.

My point is that we do the very same thing in our own small way. Parents pass down negative traits to their children, their children pass it down to theirs, and generations of people are tainted by the choices of others. We pass down negative traits and ideas to our friends when we act certain ways. Even the people around us, our co-workers, and so on can be effected by our attitudes, and they can pass that down to others.

God gives us the tools and knowledge to cut this sin from our lives, but there's something I realized. Often I pray for the strength to turn away from certain kinds of bad behavior, but again and again I turn back to doing certain things. The reality is that alcoholics aren't made from one drink, marriages don't dissolve because of a single argument, but these kinds of deep rooted problems are made from years of bad decisions both big and small.

I was talking to a friend and she didn't really believe in religion. Knowingly I asked if that was because she didn't want to feel she had to be responsible to any one but herself (that's the polite way to coin the term selfish), and she said yes. She felt that she should be aloud to dress, act, say, imbibe, and do what ever she wanted without any one telling her what to do. It's odd that this attitude is so common. If people really stopped to think about these kinds of ideas on anything below a surface level they would be ashamed.

For instance two years back I and a friend stole some beer. We were drunk, and thought it would be funny, but we got caught. Hardly seems like a big deal, though I am ashamed of it, but who could have guessed that the economy would have gone the way it did (OK well a lot of people did actually), but because of my stupid choice I can't find a job, and this effects my family and not just me.

If it's drugs or supposedly harmless self mutilation (facial piercing and tattoos the latter of which I am also guilty) we always end up becoming someones problem in one way or another. Drugs don't buy themselves, you don't manufacture your own booze, offensive clothing (by which I mean clothing purchased with the intent to offend) don't fall from the sky. No matter what you do you will always involve others in your choices, and that's not even saying anything about how these things effect ourselves. But morality almost seems to be a thing of the past, set aside, and to be mocked by foul mouthed kinds on You Tube. Sometimes I think that if Darwin came back alive, and sat in front of You Tube for an hour to see what atheism has become (not that it was ever anything but destructive on some level or another) he would never stop throwing up. And yes I cribbed that line from a Woody Allen movie.

Coming back to my point instead of praying for God to rewrite our history what we should pray for is to have these things ripped from our lives. That God in his mercy and wisdom would do what ever it takes to guide us onto the right path. God's law is not arbitrary. We reap the consequences of our sin because sin is our bad choices.

I did a modified version of this on Sunday. Perking it up a little for the residents of the nursing home. I've gone to Karaoke bars and done all 15 minutes of Paradise by the Dashboard Light completely by myself, doing both male and female parts, then finishing it up by sliding on my knees across the floor, but I have never been so nervous in my entire life. I wanted to cry, puke, and run into walls.

It wasn't so much the public speaking part, not really at all, but the fact that I wanted to do it right. I'm not preaching for myself. I do it for others. To help enrich their lives with the word of Christ. I wanted to make sure it is something I am supposed to be doing. All in all I was disappointed. I guess I expected too much of myself. Every one said I did great, especially for a first timer, but it was hard. I was prepared for everything. Some of the residents aren't exactly completely right in their heads so it can be a distraction when they talk if you're not ready for it. But I will keep up. Study and work hard to ensure that I am doing the right thing for the right reasons.

In other news my birthday is coming up next month. I'll be 28 in case you're wondering. Hopefully I'll have a place to live when it does role around, but either way what does it matter? My short wave radio is working good. I sent out my first reception report last week, and I have two more to send out tonight. Been meaning to do it all weekend, but I've been distracted. Watched a few good movies I could recommend including Thirst (Korean film) and Manhunter.

Well God bless every one, and thanks for reading.

The Thirsty Wolf Blinks Twice

You can follow my comic at this link.

Made My Mother Cry

But in a good way, promise. My mother's day gift:

What's the Stich?

What's going on? Well a lot, and not a whole lot. It had been decided for that I was going back to school. Of course I could have resisted, but when I think about if I don't want to keep answering phones for the rest of my life I might as well go for it. As far as I could see it my options boiled down to: Studying economics, getting a CPA (charted public accountant) license, directing, acting, or seminary.

I've had a deep interest in economics for a while (you could call it a hobby), but from what I understand studying economics is more numbers crunching than theory, and when it comes down to it what the heck am I going to do with a degree in economics in this economy. Being an accountant sounds roughly equal to being hit in the face with a rock, but people are always hiring accountants for some reason.

That narrows it down to the last three choices. I would like to be an actor or director to either participate in, or create, great art, but I know my personality quirks well enough to know that if I succeeded in either I would probably be that guy they find in a hotel room somewhere swinging from the curtain rod after a night of booze and drugs. So that kind of narrows things down.

A life of service for others doesn't sound bad at all. It's not so much a vague notion as you would think. What I would like to do is teach apologetics to teenagers. When I was in my early teens, like all kids, I was hit with that mixture of sexual awareness and the growing desire to rebel. At the time I was enrolled in a Messianic Jewish private school. I'm not Jewish by the way, but it's not as weird as it sounds.

The schools staff was made up of former burn outs, wild childs, and a rock musician or two. If you think people who had lived a bad life are the most qualified to steer you away from it then this was the exception that proved the rule. At the time I was struggling with wanting to listen to the music I wanted to listen to, watch I wanted to watch, and the only reason ever given to me for not doing these things is that daemons would probably leap out of the ventilation shafts and drag my soul to hell. Let's just say they weren't the brightest spiritual leaders in existence.

As an example once a year we had the Purim celebration. Basically we would skip all but a couple of classes, and they would stuff us full of candy, and make us watch the Princess Bride (every year for 8 years). Well come Bible study class we're bouncing off the walls. Not have we been eating candy all day, we've had to sit in place while we did, and youth plus sugar equals explosive hyper activity. Now a rational person would just send us outside for some exercise. However, our teacher decided it would be better to cast out the daemons that had possessed us through prayer. Take note: when I say she prayed to cast out daemons I don't mean she just prayed for us to calm down, she literally was attempting to cast daemons out of us.

This is the type of behavior I see to often in the church. Yes, this is an extreme example, but not uncommon. Far too often I see a picture painted of a completely arbitrary God who hands down laws, not to save us from ourselves, but as means to punish us. Don't do this or that or else you go straight to hell. Hell, even as an adult I get paranoid about the dark thanks to years of being told that daemons are lurking around ever corner waiting to possess me should I listen to the wrong music.

My point is that God's law is not arbitrary. There are real social and economic consequences for certain types of behavior. The Bible is not some code book of magic spells best read if you check your brain at the door. Science does not annihilate faith, in fact it strengthens it. There is more truth and reason in the Bible than any other book I can think of, but that reality is rarely ever addressed.

It's you either go to hell or you go to heaven to receive riches and reward. I was told as a kid that when you went to heaven you got a golden mansion, and boxes of jewels and gold. What? Why would you need that? You're dead. Does heaven have a monetary system? If so then inflation must be a serious problem if every one is super rich!

OK back on track. I want to teach this reality to teenagers. It's at a certain age where the world most attempts to pull them away. A world of selfishness and reactionary thinking, and if there is nothing I hate more than reactionary thinking. I want to teach them the reality of God's law. Appeal to their intellect and involve them in that intellectual process that will not only strengthen their face, but help to equip them with a broader basis for life.

But it seems my plans are on hold for another year. Classes are coming up soon, and it looks like I might have to move to a more affordable living situation. Where this will lead I have no idea, but I suppose I'll have to just have faith.

As a side note I got my new shortwave radio in, and it works like a charm, but more importantly I would like to give a shout out to the thus far unknown person or persons of Asian origin who reads this blog and leaves comments. I'm not sure what country you come from (I thought it was Taiwan at one point, but I can't remember how I arrived that conclusion), either way forgive my ignorance. Your comments and encouragement are much appreciated, and I think I just might update more often thanks to you. Much love my friend.

And for now

Buy My Couch

Looking for a new couch?

For the lazy

Golden Dog: The Barkening is The comic miss adventures of a small boy named Oztrooj and his friend Golden Dog.Please click the link below and subscribe or something thing like that.

What else I have been up to?

Some big news on the way possibly. For now my brand new web comic.

Click here