Tunneling Like A Rat

The last three days have been as low key as they get. Various doctors appointments for my parents, and a job interview for my mom has kept me stuck at home. So it’s just been Playstation 2, and working on some songs for my new project. Not the most exciting time.

I did manage to watch Uwe Boll’s “1968 Tunnel Rats” which is about soldiers during the Vietnam War whose it was to climb into tunnels made by the Vietcong that would serve as command centers, living quarters, or passages to other parts of the jungle. Often times the tunnels, if not filled with enemy soldiers, where also brimming with traps.

It lived up to the half competent genius of Boll’s previous works. His use of natural light, choosing, a gritty subject matter, and decent actors made up the best parts, but he still doesn’t seem to know that having soldiers fire Rambo style into the jungle with no purpose doesn’t exactly fit a Vietnam epic. Not to mention the editing is a bit hay wire, but you do get to see a guy dismember a corpse in order to crawl past it if that’s your thing.

Oh and let me give a shout out to my home dude up who keeps the Earth safe from the jazz menace! Also check out my friend D.J. Ginsberg’s homepage for updates and a new lyrics section for his music.

Say… have you ever wanted to know what one of those Chi alchemy handbooks looks like that’s locked away in the top of a temple in the top of a mountain? Well it looks like this.

Oh and don’t forget to download my song here.

I Wanna Live Under The Water...

So pitch man Billy Mays also dies at age 50 of currently unknown causes. That's really going to hurt his reality show ratings.

On more a positive note I am currently working on an "anti-folk" album under the name Kelly Corey Ritter which will be titled "I Feel Like Shit". It will be a mixture of relationship based crappy folk songs, and more childish material inspired by Daniel Johnston and Kimya Dawson. This has been a project I've been toying with for a while, and only recently found the style I want to use. There are three songs in the works with one finished, and a planned total 10 songs for the album.

I've posted the first completed song "Fart Submarine" here free for download for my friends.

Keep in the mind I am playing character who is supposedly mildy retarded. Please enjoy. There is also a planned music in the works for Fart Submarine. I wish to enlist the help of my friend Ed and his girlfriend for shooting. The part of the submarine has already been filled by another friend of mine. So when you read this Ed I need your help.

Well tonight I am going to debate about on the possibility of extra-terrestial life seeding our planet. I will destory them!

(note to download the song click on the downward arrow thing next to the song title on the page linked above)

What A Wonderful World

Well today has mostly been sitting in, and having an Orochi 2 marathon, but I did get around to watching two movies. First was Pete Kelly’s Blues. Now how about this for a cast list: Jack Webb, Lee Marvin, Janet Leigh, Peggy Lee, Andy Devine, Ella Fitzgerald, Martin Milner, Herb Ellis, Jayne Mansfield, and Edmond O’Brian.

Not convinced?

How about a movie where Jack Webb punches out Lee Marvin, not once, but twice?

Still not convinced?

How about lines like “You look like a banjo player who ate a big breakfast” or “They say you got rubber pockets so you could steal soup”

Then since it was still early I finally got around to convincing my father to watch Memories Of Murder. It was directed by Bong Joon-ho who also directed The Host. It also stars Song Kang-ho who played Park Gang-Du in the Host as well as another cast member or two. Much like The Host (Memories of Murder came first) the film is funny and touching at moments, frightening at others, and heart breaking.

If you’re new to Korean cinema I would recommend watching both Old Boy which is one of the most inventive and emotionally draining film experiences I’ve ever witnessed, and Attack The Gas Station which was hysterical. Both are easy to find, and fairly well known in the U.S. of A.

Say, would you like some answers about the sad state of our world? Well you’re not getting any! I’m not sharing. So instead meet the Wiccan wife of the owner of Rotting Corpse Records. She likes working with children, taro, and producing records for a band called Baby Stab Horror. You know with it’s sort of atonal nature metal could be an a more interesting and artistically valid music if it would drop the Satanism, Anarchy, mutilation nonsense. Or maybe not.

All I Wanna Say Is They Don't Really Care About Us

So for the last couple of days I’ve managed to acquire a few items of leisure for which I am glad to share with you, my adoring public. First off I traded in a few movies at Movie Stop, and got enough credit to get the John Wayne Western’s Collection box set which includes The Sons of Katie Elder, El Dorado, The Shootist, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, True Grit Special Collector’s Edition, Rio Lobo, Big Jake, Hondo Special Collector’s Edition, and the McLintock Authentic Collector’s Edition… what ever that means. All remastered and in wide screen, and with the remaining credit I wrangled Donovan’s Reef starring John Wayne and Lee Marvin. That’s more John Wayne than any man could hope for, and certainly more than any man deserves.

I also used the birthday moneys my grandfather gave me to purchase a copy of Ghostbuster: The Video Game. This is only interesting because I got a free ten dollar movie voucher along with it which I used to see Up in not one, not two, but three dimension. Shit!

The movie was excellent, and had a nice bittersweet tone that lent some depth (zing!) to what was mostly a lot of running around in brightly colored environments. Still I’m not sure what, if anything, was gained by watching the film in 3D instead of the standard two dimensions. The actual 3D itself was done very well, and the films director did the smart thing and limited the whole “things flying at your face” effect. Occasionally objects or animals did seem to swoop in from the side of your head, which frankly is a bit jarring, but for the most part it simply looked more like some kind of beautiful pop-up book.

After the movie I had to ask myself whether or not the 3D element made the film more immersive, and in retrospect I don’t think it did. In fact you really just forget you’re watching a 3D film once you get sucked into the story except for the odd moment where a wisp of smoke or a dog flies in from under your chin. This is the second film (both animated) I have seen in the new 3D (and personally I thought Beowulf was a little more impressive), but I’d like to see something live action before I make up my mind.

So in the end if you’re tight on cash just see it au naturale. You won’t walk away feeling like you’ve missed anything, and chances are if you have a theater in town that plays 3D (we have four or five) they’re more expensive than most other theaters to begin with. Not to mention an additional 3.50 gets tacked on for the glasses.

The funny thing is that they make this big deal about “recycling” the glasses after the flick. They even have this stand that you can drop them in on the way out. Talk about preying on peoples cultural (or in this case ecological) paranoia. You think you’re saving the planet, but in reality you just dropped 3.50 for glasses that will get repackaged and stuck on some one else’s head. No thank you. I think I’ll keep mine, besides they’re tinted enough to double as sun glasses if I ever need them.

On a more preachy note there was a scene where the film’s elderly protagonist stares down some developers who wish to buy his house in order to build condos or skyscrapers. The developer is portrayed as sleek looking man in a black suit, wearing black sun glasses, and having no mouth. An obvious symbol of faceless corporate evil.

It makes me think of how all my life from the moment I was a child up to today in the movie I’ve had TV, films, and all forms of media constantly attempting to indoctrinate me. Think about films and shows you watched as a kid, and how many of them had the corporate stooge or the greedy banker as the villain. How about loggers, manufacturers, and the entire army of faceless white men who inevitably always do the bidding of a much fatter white man at the top, and that man always has a mustache. No wonder most people I meet seem to think that the weather is controlled by 6 Jews in a room somewhere.

“Reeboks, Reeboks, bicycles, advertising!”

Finally on a sad note Michael Jackson died of a heart attack. My fondest prayers go out to the man for whom I sprained my leg attempting to dance like when I was five.

A Fair Is A Veritable Smorgasbord

Well my birthday is tomorrow, or today for any one reading this after midnight, and I’ve already celebrated it Saturday. I got a hand full of games, a little cash, and had a nice meal. I also watched The Sons Of Katy Elder starring John Wayne and Dean Martin which was a really good picture. It’s funny to see how even in his 50’s Wayne cut a pretty imposing figure. Dean Martin is about 6’1, I believe, and John Wayne completely dwarfed him.

My parents also got me a copy of the soundtrack to Pete Kelly’s Blues which Jack Webb Starred in and Directed. It’s vinyl so they got an album frame for it, and I now have it hung up in my room. I would take a picture, but I can’t find my camera at the moment. All I can say is that it has a picture of Webb looking through a camera on the cover, and any one who knows me knows I am a huge fan of Jack Webb.

Beyond birthday things I went to church with my family for father’s day, and tonight my grandfather came over to watch All The Kings Men, which was an excellent if not nearly horrifying movie, and may some day stand as a prophetic statement about the Obama presidency (The film is actually based on the former governor of Louisiana Huey Long who was assassinated on September 8th 1935). So all in all it’s been a pretty family oriented weekend.

On the job front I got a call today from an insurance company, but it was commission only so I said no thanks. I hope I get something soon. Socialism is bad for people, and I can already see myself slipping back into my old habits. Of course I only worked for 7 days, non consecutively, but it did make a big difference.

I also forgot to mention I went thrift store hopping on Saturday. I didn’t find anything interesting or useful, but I did buy a 50 cent copy of “Scientology: A New Slant On Life”, not by L. Ron Hubbard, but with his name on the cover (some people, though non who are probably reading this blog know what that means). I was hoping to find a fun and crazy read, but it’s not the deep down insider stuff. It reads more like a really long self help pamphlet. Common sense things about perspective, and how it relates to happiness and fulfillment. In other words it’s a recruitment tool more than anything else.

The church of Scientology is good at keeping the real stuff under wraps, but I find out things here and there. It’s a sort of hobby of mine I guess you could say. Not that I have some kind of vested interest in the church one way or another, but I just find holistic medicine and other crazy stuff entertaining to no end. I don’t care what Tom Cruise does or says on all of this, and I think it’s childish and stupid that we’re all expected to stop taking him seriously as an actor because of his beliefs. Valkyrie was a pretty intense picture despite all the hating.

And here’s a little something to leave you with tonight. I looked it up on YouTube due to the fact, as I did mention, my boss sounded like Paul Lynde. I found it under the title “Templeton Weight Gain - Extended Cut”. In case you’ve not farmed the darker edges of the internet as I have this title is telling us something important. You see weight gain fetishists are people who are sexually aroused by the idea of animals (I’m saying animals as I believe this is mostly a furry phenomenon) who eat and gain weight rapidly.

You know at some level I almost think it should be a crime for me to watch a fond childhood memory, and be made to feel uncomfortable by perverts. Generally I’m a little more understanding about these things, but these people are perverts and make me sick.

Get In Line!

So what do me and an ever growing number of Americans have common? We're all unemployed. That's right, I no longer have a job. 40 minutes to quitting time, and the boss pulls me into his office. Apparently the account they were trying out just isn't making the number, and me and the whole department (well really 3 other people) are getting the boot.

They said they were happy with my performance, and they should be starting a debt consolidation account July 1st so they hope I am still available to work as my numbers kicked total fucking T-Rex dick! He actually said I swear. Oh well at least I get to sleep again. I knew things weren't going to last long. After all the job was like the phone equivalent of poking a retard with a stick and then running away.... no more like poking a retard with a stick and then riding away on one of the Segways. But only 7 days?

At least I got to see the baby alligator out back once more, and I did experience a moment of irony so profound I was almost knocked out of my seat. I'm eating lunch in the breakroom, watching MSNBC when they have this report about how Obama has taken up golf. In the midst of talk about how great he looks in shorts (seriously they said that), the female reporter said this:

"Though some Presidents have been critcised for golfing during a time of national crisis...."

(cut to picture of G.W. and George Sr)

"...Obama has so far managed to escape criticism."

At that point I had to stop, and take a moment. I looked around the room to see if any one else had caught. Nope. Do you get it? The press just gave an on air nod to their own lack of objectivity. On TV! The world is insane.

c'est la vie.

Down And Out

Well my internet is down till Friday. Hopefully no later. Just a quick update from work so there's no crazy video included in this one. Sorry!