Hope Floats

Well I went in for my first job interview in God knows how long. I didn’t except the job as it was more or less what I expected, but I’ll get to that soon. I had forgotten how much of getting a job is sales in and of itself. Of course I’m not referring to the fact that I must sell myself to an employer (that’s a given), but more to the fact that the employer is also attempting to sell me on the job.

They use code words, incentives, and double speak that does anything except address the actual nature of the work. Looking back I realize that whether I was applying at a major corporation or a nothing job that there has almost always been some form of salesmanship employed when being offered those jobs.


I showed up about 5 minutes early at suite 207, which was tucked in a corner amidst some reasonably drab looking office buildings. As a rule of thumb I usually show up 20 minutes early, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be the only one waiting at the 2:30 appointment. I was right. There were three people ahead of me so I settled in next to another guy and waited my turn.

To begin with, the size and shape of the office told me that my initial assumption of this being a telemarketing job was incorrect. So I went with my second thought that it was a door to door sales outfit. As I waited, I and the guy next to me chatted with the secretary about what there is to do for fun in South Florida. She was attractive and pleasant, and given the variety of subjects I and the guy next to me came up with. it was obvious we were the only two people in the room who had lived here for any length of time.


Somewhere in mid stream she received a phone call. Taking the opportunity I turned to the fellow beside me and asked him if he had any idea what this job was all about. He didn’t and I confessed as much, and we laughed. I told him my theory, and he promised to shoot me a look on his way out if I was right.

After a few moments he went in, and 10 minutes of polite conversation with the secretary passed before he came out. Before he went out the door he gave me a look that told me, after all that, he still had no idea what the job was. I got up, shook the ladies hand, and went in. Here is basically our entire conversation:


Chick Woman: (looks at my resume) So I see you have a strong customer service background.

Me: Well I’ve been doing customer service and sales for the majority of working life so it is what I’m most familiar with.

Chick Woman: Well what we do here is a little different. We do direct marketing (already an evasion on her part).

Me: In other words you go from business to business selling AT&T?

Chick Woman: Not exactly. We work residential (a second evasion).

Me: So you go from door to door soliciting service?

Chick Woman: No. AT&T gives us leads on who we can visit (two evasions in one sentence).

Me: Is this commission based?

Chick Woman: Yes

Me: Thank you for the opportunity, but I’m not interested.

What a wonderful scam on their part. You bust your hump and burn your gas knocking on doors. Meanwhile they pay you nothing, and when you do sell something they take most of the money. How can they lose with a system like that? Luckily I’m a very bright guy so they weren’t fooling me. Once a few years ago I spent a day doing a "ride along" for something very similar to this so I knew better. More Importantly I knew what questions to ask.


All in all it was less than 3 minutes before I was out of there and on my way to find a pay phone. Funny enough the guy that was sitting next to me in the waiting room was waiting outside to see if I had made sense out of her little speech. I told him my findings, we laughed, and then parted company.

Still time is running out, and I need something. I applied at TAG, but they aren’t hiring for another two to three weeks, maybe more. Let’s pray that something solid comes up before I am forced to take a job like the one I applied for today. Still I have hope, and you know what else gives me hope? This video. I mean if people like this, with a hobby this oddly specific, can blaze a path in the world… well dag nabbit so can I!