An Affirmation Via Futility

I haven't written much lately because I've been busy and didn't want to apply the effort. So really it's because I'm lazy. This last two or so has been a mixture of blessings, revelations, and semi misery. Things at home had been a little rough, but after talking to a friend I've realized that my attitude, or more so the way I respond, to that persons behavior, as unacceptable as it may be, is as much a part of the problem as anything else. The Bible tells us to honor our father and mother. Not just to honor them if they're right. So I changed my approach and attempted to communicate with them with as much love and understanding, and not assigning blame, and things have gotten much better. I've began to reconnect with a person who I had began to utterly loath.

With me as with all people when a person hurts us we lash out. We feel worthless so we want to let that person know that they hurt us, and how they hurt us which is in a way a sort of narcissism. I suppose the best way to change a person is to be loving with them and set the best example you can. We cannot always change peoples minds. In fact you cannot change a person who isn't willing to arrive at that conclusion on their own no matter you say, and no matter how strong your argument is. Some people will always remain willfully ignorant, but regardless the true test to yourself is whether or not you can forgive them, even if they never recognize it, and continue to love them.

Now that I've said that I've also come into some money. My tax return ended up being 800 instead of 300. I didn't get any more than the hundred that was promised to me, but it allowed us to catch up on our bills, and that's not even mentioning what we can afford to contribute my sister's wedding.

But before that an unexpected surprise came up. I was chatting with the same friend I mentioned earlier when he said that was looking to buy a Yamaha bass guitar. I asked him why and he said he's like Yamaha's ever since the one he would play back when we were in a band together. I mentioned I still owned it and he offered me 200 bucks for it. I thought that was a little too much so I gave it to him for 175. I gave a hundred to my parents then bought booze and video games.

Tomorrow I will be going to Metro Zoo which is of course a zoo and staying in a hotel down in Miami. Should be fun to revisit hotel living once more. So I'll be bringing my awesome new back pack, my shortwave radio, and a fist full of gumption.

Even I'm not sure what's going on here.