Cast A Giant Shadow

So last night I slept about 40 minutes by my estimate. The rest of the night I tossed and turned , amazed at how hard my body was fighting sleep. It was strange. I could feel unconsciousness pouring over me like a wave, and just before it could completely wash over me, my body would suddenly snap back, wrenching me out of sweet oblivion.

So many firsts at once. I have to relearn to live on a schedule, relearn not drink until I pass out, and a lack of sleep is the price I pay for all this. Sure there’s less unmentionable bowel related actives, and in theory less sour stomach (though I’ve had plenty of that). In the end I’m not sure whether the money or the freedom seems more attractive. Of course I haven’t gotten the money yet, but I definitely ain’t got the freedom any more.

At the moment things remain as tedious as ever, and never getting any sleep doesn’t help. I’m the only one who stays on the phone cold calling all day while the others switch off from inbound to outbound. Of course this is because I’m the only one among them who is a real sales man. For example today I walk into the bosses office to try and get some feedback. The boss, a condescending little prick who sounds like Paul Lynde (for those of you uneducated types who are too lazy to look it up think of the voice of Templeton the rat from Charlotte‘s Web), tells me he’s not keeping track.

Long story short I ask the right person and it turns out their previous best converter, a mouthy black chick, contacted 42 people and converted 7 yesterday. On the other hand I contacted 32 and converted 23. Big difference. Now they keep hinting that they want me to start selling alarm systems and debt consolidation sooner than later, and before you know it the idea of jerking off polar bears on reality TV doesn’t seem such a bad option.

Oh well I believe that God has a plan, and things will work out in the end. Still with only 4 seasons of Dragnet what’s a boy to do? Sure I can pepper it up with some On The Buses, which is funny, but a man needs Dragnet in order to feel regular. I mean I’m already half way through the fourth. Back to Adam-12 I suppose.

On that note (and by that I mean on an entirely different note) I would like to celebrate the life, and mourn the death of a hero of mine. A great actor, a real and true American icon, and one who managed not to die with a shoe lace tied around his pee pee. I speak of course of John Wayne who as of June 11th has been gone for 30 years. I hate to admit it, but I’m getting misty eyed.

All I can say is that if you don’t like John Wayne it’s because you’re rotten to the core, your parents are rotten to the core, their parents are rotten to the core, and their parent’s parents where probably hobgoblins or poisonous snakes. For any one left who does still have respect and love for the man I recommend going out and immediately renting The Shootist. In it John Wayne plays his final role as an aged gun fighter who settles into old stomping grounds in order to die quietly of cancer. The film is made all that more effective and touching as Wayne himself was loosing his long struggle against cancer. I also recommend popping over to Roger Ebert’s page and reading his blog post about his encounters with Wayne.

Well I’m about as tired as I can get so I’ll saddle up. Like Mose said, “All I want is a rocking chair by the fire”